Well, that was bad.

I totally couldn’t accomplish anything today. Didn’t even study much and I doubt I could remember what I’ve studied today. It’s so frustrating! I can’t get sick of studying, I still a month left!

If only I wasn’t so stupid in my first year, then I would have put in much more effort in my studies. If only I have done so, I wouldn’t have to worry so much about my CAP now. It’s so infuriating, to realise that you can’t apply for the things you want because your CAP is not good enough and it’s your own bloody fault. The sheer amount of work I need to put in just to pull it up it staggering, and even then I don’t know whether it will be good enough.

You know the feeling of mediocrity? I hate that. I hate it when no matter how much effort you put in you will never be smart/pretty/beautiful/good enough. That someone can just waltz by and do everything you just did with a snap of the fingers. And it will be ten times better than anything you could ever hope for. But that’s the way of life isn’t it. There will always be the bigger fish. Some people are just born to be a star while others…others just hope that someone will notice their shine.